What NOT to do when being arrested ~ and more madness in the world.

Try Not To Play Grab-Ass With the Police Officer Who Is Arresting You!
In Sweden, a 48-year-old man is on trial for having sexually assaulted a female police officer following an interrogation for other alleged sex crimes. In court the idiot actually said, “I wanted to commend her for shaking her rear end so nicely.” After an interrogation, the man was being escorted back to his cell by two female officers, and while the three were waiting for the cell door to open, our friend suddenly reach out and grabbed a hold of one of the officer’s buttocks. The police officer testified, “He grabbed me with a rather large hand and managed to grab the whole cheek. I felt violated and dirty.” But the suspect told a shocked court that he was completely justified in his actions because the officer in question had been giving him long stares and he felt he had sort of gone a date with her during their police car ride to the station and during the interrogation.

Defibrillator Saves Man’s Life — Not How You’d Expect!
In Florida, a defibrillator implant is credited with saving a 61-year-old man’s life — but not in the way you’d expect. According to a report in the journal Heart Rhythm, our friend had a Medtronic implantable cardiac defibrillator to prevent sudden cardiac arrest. Turns out it’s also very good at stopping bullets! The guy suffered a gunshot wound to the chest, but had no damage to his lungs or circulatory system because the bullet became lodged in the stopwatch-sized device. Surgeons removed metal fragments and the device from the man’s chest and he was discharged from the hospital the next day.

How Could My Bad Grades Possibly Me My Fault?
So you find yourself a student at Texas A&M University and you fail three classes. So, do you a) Make a personal pact to study harder b) Transfer to a less challenging school or c) Sue the university? Student Jennifer Temple opted for the latter and is now suing her former university claiming that an academic counselor recommended that she intentionally fail three classes. Temple says she wanted to drop the classes but her student adviser told her that she would lose her parents’ health benefits if she did. And she claims the counselor told her she should fail the classes because of an A&M rule allowing freshmen to exclude as many as three grades of D, F or U (unsatisfactory) from their transcripts. So, taking the advisor’s advice, she quit attending classes thinking she could exercise the grade exclusion policy. But when she went to transfer to another school, she found that other colleges, like the University of Texas, would not accept the grade exclusions and she was rejected “because of the two F’s and one D on her transcript. So she’s suing to have her transcript changed and her legal fees paid for, and hopefully a change in the policy at A&M. Of course maybe had mommy and daddy taught you to take responsibility for yourself and you would have actually studied a little bit, you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place — Jen! What a moron!