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Rihanna, God of Patron Shots and Cigarette Butts and Hangovers and General Chaos, almost got thrown out of a London nightclub after she supposedly jumped on a glass table, fell, smashed it and then started screaming “Don’t you know who I am?” when the doorman started kicking her out (which undoubtedly sounds less dick and more charming in a Bajan accent.) “That’s Rihanna, you idiots!!!” yelled her girlfriends. Eventually they left at 4 AM for another party, but not before they cavorted on someone else’s parked scooter.